1 One Try

I'm going to try again to blog. I am told it is cathartic. I need someone to entrust my secret thoughts. My DH and I have recently moved to a new city far from Texas and have no close friends. It's so different and very lonely. I am not sure about the blogworld and hope it doesn't haunt me later.

I'm a little sad today. I am current law student that just finished my first year, the infamous 1L. Unfortunately, some of my fellow classmates didn't make it. It's very disheartening for me to see people who worked so hard during the year just kicked out. One of my friends, I'll call her M, did everything the professors told her, studied more than anyone I know, and put in so much to make the grades but failed anyway. I don't know how I should feel about it. I feel a little guilty because M is very smart, hard-working and such a great person. I don't get it, why did she fail. M is moving in two months and I will really miss her. I don't connect with many people but M and I connected. It really makes me wonder.

On the other hand, some people I don't have such strong feelings about their status. One of the most pompous students in my class also failed out. I disliked (hated) him during the year because he always talked so condescending to me. However, it was no consolation to know that he also failed out (maybe a little). Another student, L, did Sudoko during class and read crime stories during the lecture so I am not surprised she didn't make it. I'm still upset that so many people were kicked out.

Oh, well, congrats to all the 1Ls that successfully transversed to 2L land. It's only downhill from here. ...No, I don't feel better.

First Rejection and More Bad News

Today, I got two doses of reality. I was trying to get into a study and I was turned down. It appears that my liver enzymes are too high, my thyroid levels are too low, and my tricyclides are out of whack. Everything is out of whack, really. I need to have an liver ultrasound to see if anything is wrong. I will wait and see what my GP says. damn.

I got rejected today from Santa Clara. It hurts and throws me for a loop. I am uncertain about any school accepting me. For the last few months, I have had only crickets. Nothing is encouraging. I have researched the numbers and it doesn't look good for me. I am considering giving up completely but I really want to go to law school. However, I have learned that a lot of people want to go to law school. Even though I work in the field, I never realized that the process was so competitive. It is unbelievable that some schools actually only take the people who score 85% or above on the test. Right now I am kicking myself for not studying more for the LSAT and concentrating more during college. When I went to college, I just wanted to get the degree, it never occured to me that the grades would follow me like a ghost.

What to do?

It's been a while since I posted. Lost in a maze, trying to decide what to do. The unexpected low LSAT score threw me for a loop. I never expected to score so low. It has been humbling and eye opening. I still want a change so I am crossing my finger and waiting for an acceptance. Miracles do happen.

In Feb., I applied to 7 schools

3- Completely Out of Reach
Santa Clara
Pepperdine
San Diego

2 maybe
South Texas
University of Houston
Cleveland State

2 it could happen
Texas Wesleyan
California Western


I have talked with two admissions consultants and gotten some advice. Both were not too optimistic but still encouraged me to apply to some of the lower schools. I am even considering one of the conditional admissions program, i.e., Florida Coastal, NY LEO, or Thomas Jefferson.

I didn't expect this process to be so stressful or long. I haven't heard back from one school. I expected the immediate rejections within a month. Santa Clara, San Diego and Pepperdine should just stop laughing and send the reject letters so I can get on with other plans. I can understand the other schools thinking about my application but I don't get these 3 taking forever to make a negative decision.

My hubby, I call him Red, is getting anxious too. He wants to move to a bigger city and start over. Unfortunately, he's counting on me to make the move and change our lives. I am ashamed to tell him that his plans may be changing soon.

Got my Score... nothing to be proud of..

I got my score on Friday. I am in complete shock, it is horrible,and laughable. I scored much worse than expected. On Friday afternoon, I set in my office and stared at the email. I hoped that it was a mistake and the email would be called back. Since it's now Monday and the score is the same, I have to accept it.

Needless to say, I am befuddled (read: a dumb word that makes me smile) I don't know what I am going to do. My score almost assuredly guarantees rejections by my top choices. I have spent a small fortune (enough for a pair of Jimmy Choos or a month's rent in Austin) on the test, prep books, and applications. I have applied to 6 schools that will definitely be laughing out loud at my application.

I have never ever failed at test so I am in an unknown space. I don't know whether to give up, spruce up my application or run away from everything. The fighter in me wants to dry to salvage the application process this cycle. I even am thinking about hiring someone to look at everything and give me an objective view of my chances. I don't want to take the test again but will probably take it again after a prep course. More money and more ways to be disappointed again. I don't know. I think I am going to give it up.

Will I Be A Lawyer?

Two months ago, I made a possibly insane decision. I decided that I was going to law school. I have always wanted to be a lawyer and somethings just set me off. When I get something in my head I am the most determined and stubborn human being alive. One Friday in January, I signed up for the LSAT, start researching law schools, and dove right in. Good for you, I hear you saying, that's what I'm supposed to do. There's more...

Now, a little background. I am a 40+ mother of two adult children. I currently work as a paralegal in a midsize firm in Texas. I live comfortably and have made a lot of achievements. Why should I upset the cart? I think the reasons are many but mainly because I know there is something more in this life. I don't think I have achieved everything that I can. Is that reason enough? I don't know.

The last 2 months have been crazy as hell. I took the LSAT in February and have been waiting for the results. The waiting is killing me. I have NO patience at all. I think I called in sick the day that God gave out the patience virtue. The results are supposed to come out today. I have refreshed that website so many times that it now flashes "It's the same as last time". I have searched very relevant website and message board. I even called the LSAC to see if the results would be released today. Of course not. Maybe tomorrow.

I am looking at law schools in California, Texas, New York, Lousiana, and maybe Nevada. I have applied to 6 schools (3 in California, 3 in Texas) thus far. I will apply to 4 more if my LSAT score is respectable. My SO and I decided that if we were going to make a change it had to be dramatic. We both like the ocean and big cities. We love San Diego, San Francisco, New Orleans, Las Vegas, and New York. These are big markets so it shouldn't be that hard for him to find a job while I go to school. Since I am considered as a "career changer" I am limiting my law school choices. After researching the law school application, I have discovered that the process is ultra competitive and geared towards the 22-25 year old recent graduates. This doesn't intimidate me but makes me a little serious.

I am going to place these updates on the blog and so I will have a journal of the process in case I don't get in. My SO is very supportive but doesn't understand what I am going through and I am not sharing with my co-workers or friends because I don't want many people to give me that look. You know the "aw, you can do it." look or the cynical "are you sure?" talk or the "good for you, I'm too old" commiseration speech. Your comments are encouraged and appreciated.

First Post

Nothing to say yet.... more to come!